The Art of Lying

I can’t remember how old I was when I realised that my mother didn’t know when I was lying, but I remember I was at prep school (So age 8-12) as I know by year eight I had figured it out. I can remember lying to my mother, probably about something really dull and boring but I was probably scared that she was going to get angry at me.

I lie a lot, mostly because I get bored, like people really bore me and therefore I lie about really mundane things in order to make myself and the people around me a little more interesting. This is making me look like some sort of crazy person, and maybe I am, but at the end of the day I don’t lie about serious things.

This isn’t meant to be about what I lie about, because frankly most of those lies I can no longer retain, but it’s about how I think I get away with it. Take a game of bluffing, poker, granted I haven’t played in a while so might have lost my touch, I have also never really play seriously so who knows if it’s just my friends being dumb or I am actually get away with it.

I can’t remember how old i was, again I was probably around 12 that I started to do this, as I remember using this trick playing a game while on a ski trip with my school. The game in question was cheat, although sometimes called bullshite, and the art of the game is to lie. It’s a perfect start, however most people, when they lie, have certain things that give them away. Honestly, I have no idea what my tell is, and frankly no one has ever told me what mine is, so who knows if i really have one? However, I have trained myself to produce a tell, I know what you are thinking, why would you want to get caught? The corner of my lip turns up when I lie, though it is something I have forced myself to do, and honestly if my lip turns up I probably want you to think i’m lying, and I am probably not lying. The first few times I’ll be lying, and then it will just be a fifty, fifty chance that I am in fact lying. It’s weird and maybe I am a little bit manipulative, but there is something about the rush that I get when I lie.  I also burst out laughing, again something which probably means that I want you to think i’m lying.

Now I have never lied about anything serious, most of the time it’s like I say I went shopping, and actually went somewhere completely different. I would say they are a little more than white lies, but not by much, I have okay morals and therefore lying about a crime for example is not a route that I would go down. What I am trying to say is that lying is all about is believing what you say, and honestly there is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone believe a rather over the top lie.

I lie a lot, yet if you ask anyone in my life they will call me brutally honest, and frankly that’s true as well. I am the type of person who will say you look crap when you ask my opinion on a new shade of lipstick, I will say if I like the new girl you are dating, if you ask, and every so often I will just blurt out what I am thinking, no matter how cruel it made me, but honestly this just makes it easier to lie. At the end of the day most people like to protect how other’s feel or to get out of trouble, but I lie because I want to seem a little more interesting, as I suffer with boredom. Which some say is a sign of a lack of intelligence, but that is another subject I’ll talk about another time.

Maybe I lie so much because I never forgave my parents about lying about Father Christmas, honestly even though fifteen years has past since I found out (They used the same wrapping paper) I honestly believe it is the root of my lying habits because the two people who you are meant to trust the most lied for the first seven years of my life. My mum also wrote a little note pretending to be the tooth fairy, which is something I am still bitter about.  That’s why I think I lie, and ultimately I lie about so much, in fact you could almost call me a complustory, I told my boyfriend of three years a few months ago that most the stuff I’ve told him is proably bullshite. We haven’t spoken about it since, but we are still together so he must like me for some other reason.

Lying sometimes helps, and sometimes it doesn’t but lying is apart of us all, and it is something which is drilled in to you from a young age, however some people are just better at it, than others.

Advertisements